slayboybunny:

date someone who makes you feel like Everytime We Touch by Cascada on the inside 

the-vashta-nerada:

it’s cute that they sell family sized oreo boxes thinking that people are gonna share them with their family

unamusedsloth:

Nude Portraits series by photographer Trevor Christensen

therealallecto:

scaredpotter:

the slytherins making a drinking game where they take a shot every time draco malfoy talks about harry potter

also known as the night Madam Pomfrey had to save an entire dormitory from alcohol poisoning

omgbuglen:

godotal:

So I finally caught him in the act of escaping

Did you really think that flimsy wire cage would contain his laser eyes? Consider yourself lucky he didn’t melt you instead.

omgbuglen:

godotal:

So I finally caught him in the act of escaping

Did you really think that flimsy wire cage would contain his laser eyes? Consider yourself lucky he didn’t melt you instead.

lieutenantstilinski:

edenidoigo:

whalegod:

tell me a secret

One time during class my drama/english teacher, who’s a devout vegan and all about not killing animals, accidentally stepped on a ladybug. He froze up and slowly cradles it in his hand and he was so heartbroken and started quoting Hamlet.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was a red m&m.

I can’t breathe

actuallyxana:

hetaliangonewild:

When I go back to school tomorrow

what kind of connection does this guy have how does he make these omfg

Think about it. When they first met at Madame Malkin’s, Draco tried to impress Harry. He didn’t know who Harry was and, no offence, but Harry was more than shaggy dressed. That means he was undoubtedly not Draco’s class. But Draco didn’t care. When they met again on the train, Draco offered his friendship. Harry refused. And that’s when the teasing began. Look at it this way: if Harry would be a girl, Draco would pull on his pigtails, would poke him in the ribs and would lift his skirt. But Harry is a boy, so Draco copes with his feelings in a different way. He follows Harry around to blackmail him somehow, he always starts a fight and he is mean to Harry’s friends to rise a reaction out of him. If that isn’t love or at least liking, I don’t know what else is.

—Tom Felton (via trust-your-doctor)

(Source: padwallahh)

ask-koki-kariya:

lastofthetimeladies:

im-a-timelord-you-ass:

lastofthetimeladies:

lastofthetimeladies:

MY MOM JUST ASKED ME WHAT I WANT MY CAKE TO BE FOR MY SPIDER-MAN THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTY AND I TOLD HER I WANT IT TO BE IN THE SHAPE OF ANDREW GARFIELD’S BUTT AND SHE WAS LIKE “SEND ME SOME PHOTOS I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO” OH MY GOD

image

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

'Scuse me, but may I have a piece of that ass?

Do you know how many times I made that joke at my party

Do you

omfg

moonglade-poetess:

tastefullyoffensive:

Bop it, Twist it, Pull it, Spin it, Flick it.


fixed it.

moonglade-poetess:

tastefullyoffensive:

Bop it, Twist it, Pull it, Spin it, Flick it.

fixed it.

(Source: memewhore)

picture-of-sophisticated-grace:

No Sven, we're not going back. She's with her true love.

theoneogorbae:

bookoisseur:

wanderingweasleys:

shardwick:

Fun at Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes.

#ActualSiblings

The look on her face.

"I have been dealing with this for 10 years. You don’t even know."

#ActualWeasleys

Lying is the best and often also the most ethical way to get a job.
For $150, this guy bought a fake résumé & callable references in an industry he’s never worked in. And got hired:

For a small fee, CareerExcuse.com promises to not only craft an elaborate lie based on your exact job specifications but to see it through for as long as necessary. The site will provide a live HR operator and staged supervisor, along with building and hosting a virtual company website—complete with a local phone number and toll-free fax. CareerExcuse will even go so far as to make the fake business show up on Google Maps.

William Schmidt started the site in 2009, after being let go from his job in a round of layoffs during the lowest depths of the recession.

“While we were all unemployed, a couple of my former coworkers asked me to act as their reference for job interviews,” Schmidt recalled. “I did it for free for my friends, but then I realized that this is some there’s a pretty big demand for. It was something I could take to the public.”

He was right. Within the first 24 hours of launching the CareerExcuse site, Schmidt had already received multiple order for his services. He’s quick to brush off ethical concerns, citing horror stories from his clients about being mistreated by their former employers (and thus being unable to acquire a reference) and noting that it becomes more difficult to land a job the longer someone’s been unemployed.

Employment is a racket. So is college.

—May May (x)

(Source: fatsexybitch)